Last day of vacation. Guess I have to wash my hair now. I love my job but I hate getting up in the morning. Nothing should open until 10:00am. I need 2 hours to get ready; 90 minutes to wake up, 30 minutes to shower and apply duck tape.
This is really nothing new in my life. I was 10 and my Mom would pull the blankets off me, in the dead of winter, in New Hampshire and I still couldn’t get up. Some folks are early risers. They also get all the respect. You know who you are – the women in their matching sweats and ball-caps walking the dog or out for their morning run, with lip-gloss and boobs bouncing off their chins. Another reason why I’m not invited over for scrapbooking and bonco.
If you sleep past 9 you’re a loser, drunk, video-marathoner who has carpal tunnel and BO. If you’re a Mom, well, let’s just say I’m not getting that badge for my sash.
I sleep 8 hours like everyone else. The key is when the clock starts.
When I first had my kids I worried I wouldn’t hear them when they cried for me. But I was smart. I married an early riser. Doesn’t matter what happens or what time he falls asleep – at 6:00am he’s wide awake. Freakish really. My son told me he didn’t mind me not getting up. Dad lets him play Xbox and he doesn’t have to make his bed.
We do own an alarm clock – I think. I’ve never heard it and I wouldn’t know how to set it if I had a gun to my head. Hubby says it works and goes off every day. He could be lying. Sometimes in my dreams, George Clooney’s cell phone will start buzzing – annoying but I just ignore it.
Once it a while I’ll go to bed at 10:00pm. I wake up with the kiddies. It’s alright, but the world does feel a bit odd. My Mom has gotten up at 4:00am her entire life. Something about milking the cows. She’s very proud. I didn’t get that gene. Now that I married an early riser we had a good chance of passing the gene on. As it turned out, we got a matching set.
So now it’s back to the routine. “Get up Mom its 6:00…6:15…6:30…7:00…Mom, you’re going to be late…where are my new jeans…Mom it’s 7:15…MOM WAKE UP.”
Sorry George, I gotta go.